How to Stop People-Pleasing & Rebuild Connection in Family Addiction with Dr. Julie Shafer

Sep 4, 2026

In this episode of Families Navigating Addiction and Recovery, I sit down with licensed psychologist Dr. Julie Shafer, who brings over 20 years of clinical experience specializing in relationship dynamics and people-pleasing.

We explore the significant overlap between people-pleasing behaviors and family addiction, specifically how partners and family members can lose their authentic selves while bending over backwards to maintain connection and avoid conflict.

Dr. Julie breaks down the core differences between passive, aggressive, and assertive communication, explains why trying to manage the other person can create deeper disconnection, and provides a practical, step-by-step framework for setting healthy boundaries without escalating arguments.

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About Dr. Julie Shafer

Dr. Julie Shafer is a licensed psychologist with over two decades of experience in private practice, helping adults navigate people-pleasing, relationship conflict, and communication challenges.

Website: https://drjulieshafer.com/

Free Resource:
Visit Dr. Julie’s website homepage to download Saying It Right: Your Guide to Confident Communication. The resource includes a one-page PDF summary and a full follow-up Effective Communication Workbook.

About Jeff Jones

Jeff Jones helps families impacted by addiction understand how addiction affects the entire family system. Through his coaching, masterclass, book, and educational content, he helps families create clearer communication, healthier response patterns, and a different way forward.

If your family is navigating addiction and you’re looking for a different way forward, I invite you to schedule a free discovery call with me.

Book a free discovery call: https://www.thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/book-a-call/

Brain Health Masterclass for Families Impacted by Addiction

This six-session masterclass helps families understand how addiction affects the entire family and move away from confusion, emotional overload, and constant reaction. Families learn how to develop steadier, more intentional responses and create healthier patterns within the family.

Learn more: https://www.thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/masterclass-upgrade/

Rethinking Addiction: The New Family Recovery Solution

In Rethinking Addiction: The New Family Recovery Solution, Jeff Jones offers a different way for families to understand addiction by looking at the family system as a whole. The book introduces practical tools, Both/And thinking, clearer communication, and family rules that are stronger than addiction’s chaos while maintaining connection with the person you love.

Get the book: https://www.thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/rethinking-addiction-book/

Connect With Jeff Jones

Work with Jeff: https://www.thefamilyrecoverysolution.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-jones-0303834/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thefamilyrecoverysolution

Substack: https://jeffjones.substack.com/

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